May 26, 2023
“Every day the clock resets. Your wins don’t matter. Your failures don’t matter. Don’t stress over what was, fight for what could be.”
– Sean Higgins
Change is a fact of life, especially after the loss of a loved one. At those times, change is a certainty, an uncomfortable and disconcerting certainty that causes enormous stress as we adapt to a new life without a family member or friend who had been part of our lives for so long.
The older we are, the harder it is to face a new beginning, accompanied by countless uncertainties. Facing it alone is the greatest terror imaginable because we are thrust from our comfort zone.
After almost 70 years of marriage, Mary’s beloved husband died. For several years after his passing, her children pleaded with her to move to an assisted living facility, where she would have the opportunity to meet new people. But she flatly refused. After her husband died, she never moved any of his things — the books, the antiques, the cribbage boards and even the clothes in his closet. Everything stayed as it was when he was alive.
The thought of change was something that caused her considerable stress. It was easier for her to continue life as it had been with him for so long. Do you remember that agonizing scene in Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” when the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows Ebenezer Scrooge how his life will end? In one sense, he realizes his only hope is to change, but in another he is terrified and wails to the ghost: “I’m too old to change!”
And yet he did … with an enormous benefit to himself, his family and his community.
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Change takes time, sometimes considerable time. Everyone moves at their own pace, but we’re never too old to change.