May 16, 2023
“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ‘Blessed are they that mourn,’ and I accept it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.”
– C.S. Lewis
When death happens to us, we become lost in a storm of conflicting emotions. Adrift, and buffeted by anger, regret, guilt, sadness, relief and the disturbing thought that “Everyone else must be handling this better than me. Why does it hurt so much? Will these feelings ever go away?” And why, you may wonder, is there so much emotional conflict and turmoil? Rarely is it what any of us imagined it would be like because grief is very individual. Some people run to God, others run away from God. Still others are angry with their God and perhaps with themselves. The only true assurance is that these emotions, however inexplicable are normal. All our life journeys are individual and our grief journeys are too. Your experience of grief comes from your life experiences and more importantly from your relationships, however conflicted they may be.
***
However incomprehensible my grief may be to me in this moment, I must accept that all things work together for good to those who trust.