May 12, 2023
“The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.”
– Paul Tillich
When you grieve, you will experience emotions that are so unfamiliar to you that you will wonder where they came from. They are born from pain and loss, and they are common to us all. You will experience denial, guilt, anger, fear, depression, helplessness, loneliness, physical symptoms and low self-esteem. A lot of us try to deny what you experience and attempt to avoid it with distractions. Have the courage to face the emotions honestly and acknowledge them for what they are.
Consider keeping a journal to record your emotions and experiences. Journaling is a valuable tool in your healing, so spend time each day in self-reflection. There’s a certain therapy in doing this, one that seems to alleviate somewhat the burden you are carrying. It will also help you accept your loss. An invaluable tool that the Diocese of Bridgeport uses in its bereavement program is “The New Day Journal: A Journey from Grief to Healing” by Dominican Sister Mauryeen O’Brien, O.P., who has decades of experience as a grief counselor.
Carolyn Killian, Director of Bereavement for Catholic Cemeteries, compares the program to the Risen Christ’s encounter with two disciples on the Road to Emmaus. He listened to his grieving friends and let them talk about the pain they were suffering over his crucifixion.
“We have to do the same thing when we walk with people in pain over a death,” she said. “They have to realize they are not alone. They have to walk through their grief. They have to realize, ‘I am not the only one who is angry, mad or guilty.’ And also that it is God who inspires other people to show up to help them. …We are just walking with people and listening to them the way Christ did.”
***
Your experience of grief is individual to you, but it is also universal.