June 26, 2024
Rolland G. Smith, former television reporter and news anchor at WCBS TV in New York, once told a story that offers great advice for those of us who are seniors and losing our friends:
“Years ago, I did a television interview with Ruth Gordon, the actress, and her husband, Garson Kanin. They were in their mid-seventies at the time. I asked them, ‘What is the hardest thing for you two as you move into your senior years?’ In unison they said, ‘Losing your friends.’ And then, Ruth said to me, ‘I would encourage all old people to make friends of various generations – ten years younger, twenty, thirty, forty. Make friends; be a friend.’ I think that is wonderful advice.”
Ruth Gordon was right, and Rolland Smith was right. It’s wonderful advice. Of course, there’s a caveat. “Easier said than done,” you might respond, and you would be right too.
Losing a spouse or close friends when you’re a senior is a tragic and debilitating experience, and everyone who is older knows that. They face challenges, including avoiding despair and losing hope in the future. They think, “After all, how many years do I have left? I don’t want them to be years of loneliness and loss.” Their other challenge is making new friends, which is never an easy undertaking when you’re old.
How many times, when you attend a family or social function do you feel like an afterthought, planted in the corner of the room? Young people may come up to you, make some small talk, pay their requisite respects and then — feeling their obligation is fulfilled — wander off never to return again. Making new friends isn’t easy, but it can be done. Keep an open mind and an open heart and good things will happen.
Just think of the actress Ruth Gordon, who died at 88 in 1985 … she had lots of friends.
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