The Healing Journey

August 9, 2023

“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.”
— Frederick Buechner

When someone we love dies, we will discover very quickly which of our friends understand compassion. Sometimes, you learn those people you thought were closest to you drop the ball completely. Very often, talking about death or giving condolences make people uncomfortable, even those people you knew for a long time and thought cared about you.

Always remember: Just because they can’t show compassion doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Compassion is a gift, and not everyone has it, although everyone can work toward becoming more compassionate. Experiencing personal loss is one of the surest ways to learn how to be compassionate.

The word “compassion” has a derivation that shows just how intimately it is tied to the pain of loss. It comes from the Latin word “compati,” which means “to suffer with.” That’s a profound and personal act; it’s an act that requires commitment and the willingness to sacrifice. It is much deeper than “empathy” and more demanding than “caring.”

If you show compassion to a person who is suffering, you will do whatever is necessary to help ease their pain, even if what is necessary is nothing more than listening and sitting in silence while they cry and grieve. Sharing that kind of pain is the sign of compassion. And compassion asks nothing in return.

Some people are naturally compassionate. They are treasures in a cold world. When someone shows you compassion, consider it more than just a sympathetic gesture, consider it a lesson in bearing the suffering of others.

According to the organization Compassion International, “The component of action is what separates compassion from empathy, sympathy, pity, concern, condolence, sensitivity, tenderness, commiseration or any other compassion synonym. Compassion gets involved. When others keep their distance from those who are suffering, compassion prompts us to act on their behalf.”

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