The Healing Journey

July 23, 2023

“It is not the objective proof of God’s existence that we want, but the experience of God’s presence. That is the miracle we are really after, and that is also, I think, the miracle that we really get.”
– Frederick Buechner

When Mary Grace’s 5-year-old son asked her one night while they were saying prayers, “Mommy, who is God?” she smiled and responded, “Honey, you’ll spend your lifetime trying to figure that out.”

Those suffering the loss of a loved one often have their interpretations of God turned upside down. St. John in his first letter said many times, “God is love.” However, many of us who grieve will question that, angrily deny it and champion the exact opposite: “God can’t be love.” Or “God is mean” or “God is insensitive” or “God just doesn’t care.”

To our thinking, God can’t possibly be love. Otherwise he wouldn’t have let this happen. Very simple logic, and it seems irrefutable.

And yet. There’s always an “and yet.” God is love even though he permits things to happen that our minds simply can’t grasp and our hearts are just too broken to try to grasp.

There are millions upon millions of pages written about the nature of God, and as Mary Grace said, it will take a lifetime for our puny minds to try to figure out exactly who God is, and still we probably won’t get it right. In this lifetime, we may never understand why he lets some things happen.

But consider this possibility again: God is love. He’s so much love that he understands our anger and resentment … and despite our anger and resentment, he can’t stop loving us. He’s also so eager for us to tell him how we feel that he’ll listen as long as it takes. And keep listening.

Consider this additional possibility: Until you can be angry with God, you may never understand how much he loves you.

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God is always looking for an opportunity to reveal himself to you. Keep your eyes and your heart open.