The Healing Journey

July 5, 2023

“Grief and love are sisters, woven together from the beginning. Their kinship reminds us that there is no love that does not contain loss and no loss that is not a reminder of the love we carry for what we once held close.”
– Francis Weller

Every day, Dan would know when the Metro-North train was coming into the Greenwich station by the sound of the slowing wheels on the trestle. When he looked out the window and saw Greenwich harbor, his grief returned. He also knew that in a matter of minutes, the train would be passing Bruce Park, where memories of his friend Debbie came flooding back. Months after her death, this daily reminder continued with nagging persistence.

He remembered how they had coffee and croissants in the restaurant at the end of Greenwich Avenue near the station and talked about their next jobs. He remembered how they vowed to change the world after they got out of the company where they were working.

Then, they would walk down the Avenue, under the train tracks, to their parked cars. She was gone, and wouldn’t be changing the world, even though their friendship had changed him. He was working in Manhattan now, missing her but grateful she had been part of his life for even a little while.

Sometimes, if he was lucky, he slept through the Greenwich station, and it spared him the sadness. But most of the time, even if he was dozing, the familiar sound of the train coming to a stop woke him up. There were a thousand other memories of his late friend, but this sound and that familiar sight of Steamboat Road resurrected them all.

Almost seven months later, his situation seemed to improve slightly. He could look at the harbor and remember his friend without sadness but with joy and appreciation for having known her.

***

Don’t be surprised when certain sights, sounds and even smells can reopen the wound that grief has caused.