The Healing Journey

June 24, 2023

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what the storm’s all about.”
– Haruki Murakami

Dorothy never had a chance to grieve when her son died. It sounds crazy but it’s true. Yes, the shock of his death at 18 from leukemia devastated her, and she couldn’t function because the thought of his loss was an obsessive preoccupation, as with most of us who are grieving.

However, even though the pain persisted, she had to “get on with her life” because she was a mother and had other responsibilities, including two younger daughters.

But she realized she couldn’t simply force herself to “get over it.” Sooner or later, she would have to go on her healing journey even though there was so much to do. She realizes now that she should have taken the girls along with her.

Several years later, she is trying to do what she didn’t do back then and has joined a bereavement program because the emotional pain still haunts her. You can postpone grieving, but you can’t avoid it.

The program will help her, but it will not help her “get over it.” In many ways, we never get over it, especially the loss of a child. However, we can learn acceptance, we can learn how to grow spiritually from our loss and, equally important, we can learn how to help others when they’re confronted with a similar tragedy and don’t realize healing takes time … so you have to give it time.

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Never expect to “get over” the loss of someone you love.