The Healing Journey

October 6, 2026

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my obituary, although I hope I don’t need it anytime soon, but you never know.

What do you want people to remember about you when you pass on? Do you want them to know you got a PhD in environmental studies? Do you want them to know you had loving kids and grandkids, even though they didn’t quite live up to your expectations all the time? Do you want them to know about your successes and accomplishments? But what about your failures and disappointments?

A former colleague who started his career in journalism eventually became the obituary editor of the New York Times. That’s a coveted job, for sure. It’s also a job that gets overwhelmed with requests. Everybody who ever received an Employee of the Month plaque, an Oscar, or Community Leader of the Year Award or who was the CEO of Pfizer or the Mayor of Topeka expects their obituary to make the Times, no questions asked.

To my thinking, obituaries that applaud successes are the most boring obituaries of all because they read like Wikipedia entries, with one boring accomplishment after another. They can also make the rest of us think our lives aren’t a success because we did nothing newsworthy or grandiose in the eyes of our meritocratic society.

I’m convinced Jesus looks at the value of a life a lot differently than the New York Times does. How tragic it would be if only worldly accomplishments were mattered to him. But he judges by an entirely different standard. Our ability to love.
©J Pisani

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