The Healing Journey

April 16, 2025

“I measure every Grief I meet,” is one of Emily Dickinson’s longest poems, in which she tries to understand what grief is all about, examining the grief of others and comparing them to her own. She wonders how long they have had their grief, and if it weighs as much as hers. She also notes that some people start to smile again after a period of grieving.

However, in the end, she finds it “piercing comfort” to think there are others who suffer as she does—carrying their crosses—and this makes her feel less alone. She also alludes to Jesus’s cross and mentions Calvary in the poem.

Director of Bereavement Carolyn Killian, editor of Healing Journey, urges you to listen to this reading of Emily Dickinson’s poem, which makes the poet’s words come alive.

https://youtu.be/kI6hpVddvn8?si=uxxO9Ls8MZCBhyUa

I measure every Grief I meet

By Emily Dickinson

I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes –
I wonder if It weighs like Mine –
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long –
Or did it just begin –
I could not tell the Date of Mine –
It feels so old a pain – 

I wonder if it hurts to live –
And if They have to try –
And whether – could They choose between –
It would not be – to die – 

I note that Some – gone patient long –
At length, renew their smile –
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil –
I wonder if when Years have piled –
Some Thousands – on the Harm –
That hurt them early – such a lapse
Could give them any Balm – 

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve –
Enlightened to a larger Pain –
In Contrast with the Love – 

The Grieved – are many – I am told –
There is the various Cause –
Death – is but one – and comes but once –
And only nails the eyes – 

There’s Grief of Want – and grief of Cold –
A sort they call “Despair” –
There’s Banishment from native Eyes –
In sight of Native Air – 

And though I may not guess the kind –
Correctly – yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary – 

To note the fashions – of the Cross –
And how they’re mostly worn –
Still fascinated to presume
That Some – are like my own.

***