The Healing Journey

April 11, 2025

“There is no expiration date on the love between a father and his child.”
— Jennifer Williamson

Focusing on happy memories of Dad

By Karen A. Avitabile

Painful memories of our lost loved ones often come in unexpected waves. But then there are the happy ones.

I remember when my dad, Louis, turned 59 – he was closing his nearly 30-year-old business and was going to take an early retirement. He did not have any formal plans of what he would do in retirement, but his family was thrilled just to be seeing more of him.

Dad and I would go on long walks and meet for breakfast every Saturday at 7 a.m. at our favorite breakfast spot. Sometimes, he would drive to see me at work, just to say hi or invite me out to lunch. I remember when I had the flu and needed to go see the doctor. I called Dad, and he was my chauffeur.

But at age 59, there was something different about him now; there were obvious changes in his ability to get around. After months of tests, he was diagnosed with ALS, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease.

The ensuing years were difficult for him and for us. In some ways, we felt robbed. He spent so much time working, and he did not have long to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

On April 3, Dad would have turned 83.

Like every April, I begin to think more about my dad since his passing in 2006. This year, however, feels different. That’s because today I turned 59.

While I’ve always embraced the adage, “age is just a number,” I can’t help but to think about Dad’s diagnosis and the little time he had left at the same age I am now.

This month, I will try to be more thankful that I am still here and practice letting go of the things I cannot control.

During times of uncertainty, we need to put aside our worries and place our faith and trust in God’s hands, believing that He will intervene on our behalf and help us navigate whatever lies ahead.

In retrospect, I think there is a lesson here for those who are grieving: Forget what was, forget what would have been and live in the moment. I will also focus on happy memories of Dad. Happy birthday, Dad, and to me!

(Karen A. Avitabile, who is pictured with her father at her high school graduation, is the editor of the “Catholic Transcript” magazine for the Archdiocese of Hartford.)

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Healing Journey wishes her a happy 59th birthday.