The Healing Journey

January 24, 2025

“Try not to resist the changes that come in your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”
— Rumi

There are many components to grief. The shock, the sadness, the regret, the anger, the loneliness and more. One, however, has a tendency to overshadow everything that happens after someone we love dies, particularly if the person was someone we depended on for companionship, support, and our well-being. That component is anxiety, which can lead to a nagging fear of the future because an uncertain future is harder to face alone.

Some of us might dive head-first into the future, making decisions that may not necessarily be the right ones. Others might be immobilized, unable to make any decision because they are stymied after a profound loss. Both are extremes. The wisest course is to be cautious and weigh your options. The future will always have changes that you’ll have to navigate.

Worrying about tomorrow is something that has plagued humanity since time immemorial and for good reason. We want to be able to rest in the assurance that we, and our family, will be secure and provided for in uncertain times.

St. Francis de Sales, who was born in the 16th century in the Kingdom of Savoy near Geneva, understood uncertainty. He came from a noble family, and his father wanted him to pursue a career in law. Francis, however, wanted to be a priest. They constantly argued about his future. God, however, gave him several signs to let him know his calling wasn’t law. Today, he is recognized as a Doctor of the Church, and his writings about holiness are accessible even to non-theologians.

One of his most famous prayers can benefit all of us concerned about the future after someone we love dies:

“Do not worry about what might happen tomorrow. The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from harm or give you unfailing strength to persevere. Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.”

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Try to find some time today when you imagine yourself handing your worries over to God — and seeing his grateful smile as He thanks you for reaching out to him.

©Joseph Pisani