The Healing Journey

January 20, 2026

Downsizing can be a painful pastime tainted with bittersweet memories after someone we love dies. It can also be a challenge when it comes to our belongings as we age. Cynthia recalls her own experiences over the years.

“Around the time my second husband passed in early 2020, I did get into some cleaning out. When he moved in, this place really became overwhelmed with his hobbies and stuff. Once his grown kids and grandkids finally took what they wanted, which helped more than I could have imagined, I could start clearing out the rest.

Around that time I read a book put out by AARP called “Downsizing the Family Home.” It was a delightful read and had a lot of good suggestions. One of my problems is that I am still a paper and book person. Anyway, with clearing out my husband’s stuff and moving things around, along with encouragement from this book, I did get rid of some things but not nearly enough.

My paternal grandmother almost made it to 100 years old. I believe she stayed in her house with all her stuff until her late 80s. The family kept encouraging her to get rid of things and move to a smaller place, but she kept saying she wasn’t ready yet! Then, she lived perfectly well on her own until she was 95. I can now relate. I’m not ready yet either. Doctors say I am very healthy and young for my age, but you never know, right? Things happen.

I cannot imagine my sons having to go through all this stuff. I have files of personal correspondence and shelves of books and stationery. But I also cannot imagine spending the remainder of my golden years without all my stuff because I still use it. All this personal stuff matters to me. It’s mine.

Stuff like pots, pans, dishes, glasses, furnishings, clothes, appliances large and small, sheets, towels, toiletry aren’t precious to me and they can easily deal with that. But jewelry and photo albums are much more precious. They are what makes memories, and we want to leave them behind for those who appreciate them and who will look at them and remember us dearly.”

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