The Healing Journey

August 11, 2023

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.”
— Norman Cousins

When someone we love dies, we find ourselves buffeted by emotional turmoil. There are common regrets such as, “I should have done this” or “I should have done that.” While some of these may be true, it can debilitate you to second-guess yourself. It will also stymie your healing because you’ll find yourself bemoaning what might have been — or more accurately what you think might have been “if only.” But “if only” is hypothetical.

Another trap we can fall into is the inability to forgive. The inability to forgive yourself, the person who died, or someone who should have and could have done something differently.

Forgiveness is a curious thing. It won’t fall out of the sky. You have to decide that is what you want to do. You see, the inability to forgive, holding grudges, and nursing resentments are powerful destructive forces. You will never completely heal as long as they overpower you. You have to let them go.

There’s a question you should always ask yourself: How important is it to be right? For many people, it’s very important. They always think they’re right, even if they’re not. Insisting you’re always right is an attitude that can derail your healing.

Moving forward requires humility, which can be difficult for people who are proud or self-righteous. But you have to strive to achieve it because without humility you won’t find forgiveness. And without humility, you will never be able to let go of the “I should have” or “I could have” self-assaults.

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Ask yourself, “How important is it to be right?”