The Healing Journey

July 18, 2023

“For your every tear, know that I’ll always be here. To bear one pain we both will share, know I’ll never disappear.”
– Anthony Liccione

Men and women describe their grief differently. The sense of loss and shock we all feel is so overwhelming that words cannot adequately describe it. As a result, we resort to metaphors. For example, the death of a loved one can be compared to having an empty space in your heart, to losing a limb, or to having your heart broken in two.

In her work with the New Day program, Carolyn Killian, Director of Bereavement for the Diocese of Bridgeport, has observed that men often describe what they feel as having “The rug pulled out from under them.” Women, on the other hand, feel as if they are “helplessly adrift at sea and they’re not sure how to get to shore” through the roiling waves with no one to help them.

Women are more inclined to share their personal stories with other women in their circle of friends. Men are less likely to share their pain with other men, which can be an impediment on their healing journey. They typically want to overcome their grief so they can move on with their lives. But healing doesn’t work like that. It’s not something you can check off your To Do list, and it’s not something you can overcome by a display of strength. Healing requires sharing. To heal you have to make yourself vulnerable by telling another person about your pain.

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Don’t be afraid to share what you feel with another person. It will help you heal.