The Healing Journey

June 30, 2023

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing views. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.”
– Edward Abbey

When Carolyn visited her father Frank in the hospital, the doctor told her, “Your father is dying. He’ll be gone in 48 hours.”

“OK,” she responded, promptly standing up. “I’ll be back in a half an hour. I’m getting him a chocolate shake.”

“He’s on a restricted diet!” the doctor exclaimed. “It will kill him. You can’t do that!”

“Just watch me,” she said. “I’ll see you in a half an hour.”

When she got back, she handed him the shake and said, “Here, Dad, this is for you.”

He looked at her gratefully and said, “Thanks so much, I’ve been waiting for a shake.” It was part of their family tradition, you could say, to bring chocolate shakes to anyone in the hospital.

Frank enjoyed his shake that day … and he lived two more years. Despite the doctors telling him four times that he was going to die, he defied their predictions.

A chocolate shake may sound like an inconsequential request, but so many people who are grieving are burdened with regret over simple things they didn’t do while their loved one was still alive. Not giving them a milkshake, not going fishing with them, not taking them to lunch, not watching the Super Bowl together. There are many things that will go around and around in your mind when you set out on your healing journey. You have to face them and come to terms with them. Otherwise, they can haunt you a very long time.

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Talk to your loved ones who are gone and tell them how you feel, and remember while you may be overwhelmed with regrets, they don’t want to see you suffer over simple things. Most of all, they want to see you heal.