June 17, 2023
Like painted kites, those days and nights went flyin’ by
The world was new beneath a bright blue umbrella sky,
Then softer than a piper man, one day it called to you,
And I lost you, I lost you to the summer wind
– Frank Sinatra
“It might as well have been yesterday that my dad left,” Nancy says. Although it was two years ago, the pain lingers. The memories are bittersweet, and she clings to them because they console her even though they constantly remind her of the wonderful man she lost — the father who was so giving that he even took her to Tom Jones’ concerts as a teenager, and in later years would call her to discuss politics and spend their time driving together, listening to NPR.
One of her most treasured memories is the time her father Paul and her son Thomas were sitting at the kitchen table, singing a duet of Frank Sinatra’s “The Summer Wind.” She always loved the song, and now it has a particularly special meaning.
Her son Thomas has a beautiful voice. When he was young and they were driving in the car, she would play the song. He, too, fell in love with it — so much that he performed it at a kindergarten talent show. She still listens to it from time to time, and she loves telling the story of the two of them together. She sees so much of her father in her son, who’s an adult now. She felt the greatest amount of love for them both … and the greatest amount of longing now that one of them is gone. Yes, she says, it might as well be yesterday that her dad left.
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On the healing journey, memories can be a source of pain, but wait for the day that you cherish them because they will become a continuing source of joy as the emotional intensity of your grief subsides.