May 23, 2023
“Catholic prayer and ritual can be an important element of the healing process. They provide a framework of faith for us to overcome our sadness and anger….They allow us to express our deepest thoughts and feelings about loss and death.”
– St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
We live in an age when children often disregard their parents’ wishes for a Catholic funeral Mass, when loved ones are cremated and their cremains left behind like an afterthought. Many people don’t recognize the importance of ritual when a loved one dies. Others, however, do.
Sandra Ann was Catherine’s caregiver during her final months. She suffered from dementia and had fallen away from her faith, but Sandra Ann promised her that she would have a beautiful funeral Mass and she made the necessary arrangements. She didn’t have a lot of money to work with, but the funeral director helped guide her and the priest understood the importance of it.
Many of the people who showed up for the Mass hadn’t been to church in years and were amazed at the beauty they encountered. It was right after Christmas, and the church was still decorated with poinsettias and spruce trees. It was such a fitting venue for a woman who had not know such beauty during her life. They even chose hymns Catherine would have loved … “On Eagles’ Wings,” “I Am the Bread of Life,” and “Be Thou My Vision.”
Sandra Ann later said you could feel the power of the Holy Spirit in the church. The priest talked about Catherine in his homily, and her nephew recalled all the joyful and painful memories that made up the quilt of her life.
In the final prayer, as her coffin was led out of the church, the priest said, “May the angels lead you into paradise; may the martyrs come to welcome you and take you to the holy city, the new and eternal Jerusalem.”
And Sandra Ann’s heart, filled with sorrow, found joy in that moment.
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In a time of grief, our Catholic rituals provide us peace and comfort, and show us how we can start to heal.

