May 15, 2023
“There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.”
– Aeschylus
After a loss, you put your head on the pillow at night and hope you don’t wake up the next day — that’s how profound your grief is. But you do wake up the next day with a pain so intense you wonder if you’ll ever be able to cope because it’s a pain that you can’t escape.
Sometimes the pain seems to be lessening, but then a few days and weeks later it’s as bad as it was the first day. There’s no simple solution, and there’s no easy formula for grieving. And there’s no escaping it.
You will think you’ll never stop crying; however, crying is therapeutic and an emotional release that benefits us. Tears are a part of grieving. Science suggests there may be an enzyme in tears that lets the body relieve itself of toxins caused by stress.
Many of us have experienced relief after “a good cry.” Don’t deny yourself that catharsis and don’t feel embarrassed when you cry.
In the middle of your pain, which seems to follow one day after the other, every so often you will see a bright moment, not necessarily a sign, but a glimmer of hope. You will realize that life is continuing and you’re part of it. Someone’s smile, a sympathetic ear, a kind word, a joyful memory. Take these as signs that God is with you, watching over you, leading you and sharing your suffering.
Why? Because it is going to be all right.
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Look for the first glimmer of hope … and expect others.