March 10, 2023
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”
– C.S. Lewis
First, there’s shock. It affects you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There’s also disbelief. This couldn’t have happened. No. And there are a thousand questions about the future — and just as many fears — that flood through your mind in a relentless cascade. Fear of loneliness, fear of the future, fear you will fall apart, fear life will never be the same again. These feelings are all part of the what you first confront as the unreality of a loss. They accompany every loss. Even though you are convinced you’re not going to make it, which is the greatest fear you will confront, help will come from places you never imagined. The journey is not easy, but others have walked it before you, and they are there to offer help, understanding, and friendship. Accept the reality of your loss and accept your fear as a perfectly natural response. The author Richard Rohr once said, “The most common one-liner in the Bible is, ‘Do not be afraid.’ Someone counted, and it occurs 365 times.” There’s a reason for that.
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Just for today, I will try not to be afraid about the future. I will live a day at a time and even an hour at a time if necessary.