The Healing Journey

October 8, 2026

‘I was sorrowful, angry, resentful’

By Mike Falbo

I remember coming back up from the cafeteria in the elevator with my father, and the hallway with the reception desk felt darkened, with only the room at the end of the hall illuminated where my Nonno was holding my Nonna’s hand. It was like one of those movies where the focus shifts to this one dramatic scene.

As I entered the room, it was clear my Nonna had passed, as she was a bit paler and was no longer breathing. There were no sounds or alarms at this point because she had been taken off everything to go in peace. Neither my father nor my Nonno realized until I mentioned the change in her complexion that she had died. Then, one after the other, we threw ourselves onto her and began crying aloud.

As my tears soaked into the blanket at her feet, I began to sob louder and louder like an uncontrolled child. I was sorrowful, angry, and resentful. Then riddled with guilt, as I had taken my father away from perhaps the last few moments to be with his mother because I was “hungry,” and because I did not spend adequate time with her before heading up to college a few days prior, I ran from this awful nightmare that was happening before my eyes and into a room down the hall. I curled up underneath a table and wept profusely.

For years, I struggled, holding on to the guilt and grief that befell me… guilt and grief that I tried to console by turning to every other pleasure the world had to offer, hoping to one day fill the void. But as the darkness and storm of my life raged on, it would be only years later, when I was at my lowest, that I picked up the rosary on my nightstand that my Nonna used to pray with.

In doing so, memories of my Nonna praying the rosary at the kitchen table or while she cooked flooded in. Memories of joy and laughter began to echo in my mind, and I felt her love engulf my heart. And finally, in this moment, holding that rosary and falling to my knees, I was being brought closer to Our Lord through the Blessed Mother and my Nonna… and I was finally at peace.

(Mike Falbo is Founder and CEO of CREW — Leaders For Mary Inc.)

***