The Healing Journey

August 13, 2026

“Grief is work — avoiding grief is even more work.”
— David Kessler

The road to healing is a long one … but you have to stay on the road.

One popular book about grief offers this sobering advice: “The only way out of the pain is through it.” Quite simply, you can’t avoid the pain. Often the pain lingers. Always the pain will return when you least expect it.

Many people try to ignore the pain, but that approach doesn’t work. Others try to numb the pain, which leads to even worse problems, such as addiction. And there are many types of addiction, not just to substances. Julie got relief out of spending. Her compulsion got so bad that she ran up thousands of dollars in debt on her credit cards, which only compounded her problems.

Dave tried to run from the pain through entertainment, including video games and films. They were distractions that temporarily took his mind off his loss, but didn’t heal his pain. These responses only masquerade as healing. In the end, they accomplish little and prolong the pain and sometimes cause more damage.

When dealing with death, you will lose your appetite, and you won’t be able to sleep even though you will need sleep. You will likely suffer depression and anxiety and develop a fear of a new frightening future. These responses will come and go as you progress on your healing journey.

You may also fall into the trap of not caring what happens if you have convinced yourself that life no longer has meaning, so why make the effort?

If that happens, talk to other people who have gone through the same healing process. You will find support in sharing with them. Always remember that you are not alone. Just because people don’t talk about their pain doesn’t mean they’re not feeling it.
©J Pisani

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