The Healing Journey

June 5, 2026

The following is excerpted from an article in Plough titled, “Help in the Land of Forgetfulness: A husband caring for a loved one with dementia finds dark valleys, but also limitless spiritual resources” by Wayne A. Ewing.

Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter writes in her 1995 book, “Helping Yourself Help Others:” “There are only four kinds of people in the world – those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”

Yet as ordinary as this experience is – there are an estimated 53 million caregivers in our country alone, at least 12 million of whom tend to the daily needs of a beloved carrying a diagnosis of dementia – little attention has been given to one of the harsher realities of the experience: spiritual weariness.

Sherwin B. Nuland, MD, in “How We Die,” describes the experience of dementia caregivers as “spiritually exhausting.” At times, that was my experience caring for my wife, Ann. Dementia caregivers are often overwhelmed by the sense that we confront an infinitely demanding circumstance with a finitely constrained resource: ourselves.

But the converse is actually the case. As difficult as it may be, caring for one’s beloved is a finite setting. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning is shockingly demanding. At the moment of confirmed diagnosis, “No!” is an understandable initial response on the part of the care partner. The middle is particularly challenging and desperate. The beloved begins to disappear before our eyes. There is no pause button as the long days and nights of diminishment and cognitive decline unwind. And yet there is an end to the journey, the inevitable death of the beloved. Fraught with the complex emotions that arise at this passage, the caregiver has come to the conclusion of the caregiving experience. Mourning, grief, memories, personal recovery follow, but the ceaseless daily, hourly activities have come to an end.

It’s hard to convey the sheer spiritual abyss some caregivers experience on the dementia caregiving journey. Perhaps the Psalmist has stated the reality of it all in the profound question, “Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your saving help in the land of forgetfulness?” (Os. 88:12). Hard as it may be to uncover the trailhead, there are wonders and saving help to be found as unbidden gifts along the way. An unexpected place exists where we can rediscover spiritual formation in the midst of the spiritually exhausting routines of caregiving.”

To read the full article, click here, (http://bit.ly/4g4MbuF)

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