The Healing Journey

March 8, 2026

The following excerpt comes from the writings of Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh titled, “On Coping With the Loss of a Loved One.”

Is there a way to deal with the death of a loved one? In particular, how can a mother deal with the loss of a partner and give their children the best possible upbringing? Is there a way to take the gloominess away?

Visualize a cloud in the sky. Maybe one part of the cloud has become rain; half of the cloud remains in the same form and half has taken a different one. And you cannot say that the rain is less beautiful than the cloud, or the cloud is less beautiful than the rain. They can both be beautiful.

When you live with your beloved one, be aware that he or she is a kind of cloud. You are also a kind of cloud and are not entirely here in this body, because every day you produce thoughts, speech, and action which continue independently of you.

So we are like a cloud in the sky: every day it can produce rain or snow or hail. We can see the continuation of the cloud, even if it is still there in the sky.

Human beings produce thoughts, speech, and action every day. And that is our continuation. We must meditate in order to see ourselves not only in our bodies, but also outside of them.

I can see myself not only in this body; I can see myself in my friends, in my disciples, in my work, in many things. And if you want to recognize me, don’t look in this direction; this body is only a small part of me.

So the person that you believe is already lost is not lost; he is still there in other forms. Look for him inside yourself, look for him in your children. That person is still available in the here and now.

So when you look at the rain or the tea, if you recognize your cloud there, your sorrow will vanish. You will know that your cloud still exists in new forms, and you can talk to and be with your cloud. That is called signlessness. You are not caught by a particular form.

You can recognize your loved one in many other forms. I think it is easy enough to see the father in the children. You can talk to the father through the children, and you can take care of the father by taking care of the children. And not only is he in the children; he is also in you.

The fact is that nothing is born, nothing dies. It is impossible for a cloud to die, so it is impossible for anything to die, to become nothing. Nothing can be lost. Sometimes your loved one can hide himself or herself and take another form, so that you will know better how to cherish their presence.

(Thich Nhat Hanh was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, peace activist, author and teacher. He was known as the “father of mindfulness” and influenced Western practices of Buddhism. In 1966, he was exiled from South Vietnam because of his opposition to the war. Martin Luther King Jr. nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize in 1967.)

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