March 15, 2023
“Take gentle care of your beautiful self.”
– Sister Pauline Semkow, RSM
A caregiver’s grief is uniquely different. After the funeral of a loved one, family members and friends return to their daily routine, but the caregiver’s daily routine no longer exists. Sometimes there is relief; however, the void may also be accompanied by feelings of profound sadness, loss, hopelessness, anger, and even guilt as a result of troubling questions like “Maybe I didn’t do all that I could have.”
A day that had been filled with personal care, feeding, medicating, nurse’s visits, doctor’s appointments, conversations, crises, decisions, and friendship is over. All the mundane functions of caregiving come to an end.
This confusing collection of emotions, from sadness to anger, guilt to joy, relief to regret, is normal after someone dies. These feelings may be so much more intense for caregivers who often need to redefine their identity once their loved one has died. They may not realize it has a name — grief — and they suffer it too.
Caregiving is a common and yet unheralded vocation. Sometimes it’s thankless. The reality is that the world is filled with caregivers, and very often we don’t even recognize them.
Tending to the needs of a sick or dying person can take its toll emotionally and physically, often leading to burnout and stress.
For caregivers, grieving the loss of a person can seem like walking a solitary path.
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Do something special for yourself today. Never underestimate the good that you did caring for another human being when they were most vulnerable.