May 29, 2024
Mother Angelica, who started the Eternal Word Network and became an international sensation for people of faith — all faiths — spoke often about life, death and life after death. She certainly understood grief because she lost many people she loved, and countless viewers turned to her when someone they loved died. The following excerpt is from her book “Mother Angelic: Answers, Not Promises,” which she wrote with Christine Allison. It is a heartfelt explanation of grief in the life of a Catholic:
“Jesus wept when His dear friend Lazarus died, even though He knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. Jesus knows that horrible weight you feel in your heart; He knows that life has been torn apart for you. And when Jesus died, Mary and John and all those who loved Him didn’t try to keep a stiff upper lip.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to cry, to weep, to grieve, and to feel as lost as you do at this moment. Your existence, with the passing of a loved one, has changed. It will never be quite the same, and your grief helps you to adjust your sights on this new reality. You will never feel gladness that your loved ones are deceased. Even though you’re glad that they are with God, you will never be indifferent about your loss. The grieving process, if you don’t fight it or rush it, will pass. Give yourself time.
But please don’t compound your anguish with guilt over the sorrow or weakness you now feel. The fact that you are sorrowful about the loss of a loved one doesn’t mean that your faith is weak or that you are ungrateful for the joy your loved one is now experiencing. On a faith level, you know the deceased are better off. That’s very important. But it doesn’t change the fact that you miss them. I’d be really upset if I thought all my nuns were going to accept my death cheerfully with a rousing ‘Hosannah, Angelica’s finally headed home!’ I hope I never teach them that. Missing your deceased is a sign of your love, and your love doesn’t end just because they died. Love always entails pain because love is sacrificial. Your great continuing love for the person demands that you keep that person’s presence in your heart, with memories both beautiful and sad.”
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