Phone: 203 742-1450
Fairfield County Catholic Cemeteries of the Diocese of Bridgeport

May 19, 2024

“When I stand before thee at the day’s end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing.”
— Rabindranath Tagore

God is thereWhen someone we love dies, our first reaction is, “God, you really messed up this time.” Or even like St. Martha when Lazarus died, “Lord, if you had been here …” So the obvious reaction is God hadn’t been there, God wasn’t paying attention, God dropped the ball or God doesn’t care that he hurts us, or more accurately God doesn’t care that he hurt ME. And what really can anger us and hurt us at the same time is to have some well-intentioned family member or friend say, “It was God’s plan” because some deaths are so traumatic they couldn’t possibly have been the work of God.

Grief can be so complex, and yet, at its heart, it is so simple. A painful loss of someone we love, and we are convinced that someone else we love, namely God, let us down.

That’s a lot to work through, and sometimes people don’t. They live the rest of their lives stranded at square one and don’t move forward. Others try to think their way into healing and that doesn’t work either because healing isn’t an intellectual process.

There are so many things in life that you can believe with your mind but not with your heart. The healing journey is just that — a journey where you will encounter new experiences, new people and God along the way. Instead of intellectual insights, you will have new spiritual and emotional understandings that will lead you to eternal truths and a deeper love and compassion, all in God’s time. But in the beginning, very often the only thing you can do is stand there and hurt. Later on, you may find yourself standing there and hurting with another person, who is crippled by the death of a loved one.

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