The Healing Journey

March 18, 2024

When Marge saw Donny’s name on the caller ID at 9:30 that night, she knew immediately what the call was about. His wife, Hope, who had been ailing for four years and on the verge of death several times, had finally passed. Marge was right, and for the next hour, she listened patiently as he recapped everything that had happened in painful detail. He needed to tell his story, and it was a painful story.

When they were finally about to hang up, Marge said, “We’ll be over to see you; take care of yourself, and let us know if you need anything.” And then she added, “You’re such a good man, Donny. You cared for her all those years. There’s a special place in Heaven for people like you.” And she believed it.

However, she wasn’t prepared for what she saw the next day — a man who hobbled and was stooped over, whose eyes barely opened, perhaps from all his crying. He struggled to appear composed, but he was worn out. In fact, he looked so tired she wondered whether he even had the stamina to grieve. He couldn’t sleep, he told her. “There’s no rest for the weary,” she thought.

She brought him some lasagna and Italian bread and asked if he needed groceries, but he told her no. His daughter would take care of that.

She was surprised to learn that Hope was almost in her mid-80s. She wondered about Donny, who was the same age. Would he have the strength to endure much more himself? His life would be turned upside down now. How hard it must be to confront drastic change at that age, she thought. She prayed he wouldn’t have to do it alone. She promised herself to find ways to regularly support him going forward.

***

Grief can leave us clinging to the past, afraid of the future and weary over the present.