Phone: 203 742-1450
Fairfield County Catholic Cemeteries of the Diocese of Bridgeport

August 28, 2023

“Grief is forever. It doesn’t go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath.”
— Jandy Nelson

Older Man Walking The first anniversary of Darlene’s husband’s death was in a few weeks. It had been a long, hard year, but she was convinced that once she got through the anniversary, things were going to get better. She was wrong. The second year was going to be worse.

Although everyone’s journey to healing is different, there is evidence that suggests the second year can be worse than the first. There are several reasons. You expect things to get better and they just stay the same. In addition, many of your family members and friends who served as your support group think it’s time that you get on with your life. Some may even believe you are prolonging the misery when you should be moving on.

The shock has subsided, and with that comes the realization your life is changed forever … and you’re at a loss as to how to deal with that. Plus, many of the decisions that you postponed during the first year, regarding finances and your living arrangements, are staring you in the face.

In addition, you spent the first year mourning, and many of the routines and relationships that defined your life were either put on hold or pushed aside entirely. It will be difficult to rekindle them when you still have so much to do.

But remember this: The most important thing you have to do is continue your healing journey. There are no rewards for “finishing” it sooner than others. Indeed, you should never look at it as something that needs to be “finished” because it will last a lifetime. So don’t be disappointed if the second year didn’t bring the results you anticipated. As long as you’re moving forward, every step counts toward your healing.

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